- Are you free? - What's it look like?
Where are you going?
I go where the fare tells me.
11 Rue des Sycamores, Neuilly-sur-Seine.
You could've just said "Neuilly." Get in.
THE COUSINS
- How much? - 620 francs.
Looking for someone?
Where are you going?
I'm looking for Paul Thomas.
Just as I thought. Let the parade begin!
You're Mr. Paul's cousin?
Your father and his father are brothers?
Exactly.
- And Mr. Henri is another brother? - You know everything.
No crime in that. I clean up on the seventh floor.
Mr. Paul is so nice.
Thank you, ma'am.
- I bet you're Charles. - Yes.
Come in.
Paul, it's Charles.
Carolus!
Carolus! My Charles! Pray come closer.
Carolus is most welcome. Enter and take refreshment!
Did we have a pleasant journey? - Excellent.
- Are we happy? - Very happy.
What do you think of your sumptuous surroundings?
All these trophies, all these weapons? Tell me.
Ah, here's a real friend.
His name is Jean, I believe, but we call him Clovis.
For he has the political ambitions of that bivalve mollusk,
the glory of Arcachon Bay,
whom our barbarous ancestors, the Rhine-dwelling Franks -
I lost my train of thought. - Thou art a royal pain in the ass!
Stop playing the fool. You're not impressing anyone.
- Very little. - The provinces are dead.
Listen, drink and eat, but leave us alone, okay?
Or, as we say in French, the kitchen,
where we can throw together a few tasty dishes.
Silence! - What's wrong?
Come, let me give you a tour.
Up there is the loggia...
with my bed.
Further along, a few of Uncle Henri's trophies and horns.
Where is he right now?
Somewhere on a plane between New York and Miami.
- With a chick? - Two.
Damn!
Shut your trap! Eat and leave us in peace.
Fear not. I shall.
A short hallway leading to a copper-plated door,
behind which is a small but clean and well-lit room:
your bedroom.
It's very nice.
Uncle Henri.
He doesn't get bored.
Has an apartment in every capital.
Mother said his business is a bit on the shady side.
Your mother?
You know what I think?
Your dad and my dad act like a couple of idiots.
- Tell me, Paul - - Yes? What?
- Who is that fellow? - In the other room?
Why, that's Clovis.
- But he's at least 30. - Older. He's a good guy.
- What's he do? - He has a good time.
Yes, but for a living.
You'll see.
He gets by with a bit of this, a bit of that.
But he's very nice.
Great to see you! I never thought your mother'd let you go.
Only because I was coming here,
or she'd never have agreed.
Anyway, you're enrolled at the university. That's all done.
Perfect.
You'll sleep right there.
I'll get my bag.
I'll get it.
Yes, this is Clovis.
All right, I'll get him.
Who is it?
Geneviève.
I couldn't care less!
Take care of it yourself.
What?
Charles is here.
My cousin.
All right.
Yes, Clovis is here.
Fine.
See you in a bit.
She's on her way. - Here's what I say to that!
Listen...
Forgive me, little cousin, but I can be very blunt.
Listen, I have a little problem.
A girl's on her way up.
She was my girl last winter.
The little fool's in trouble.
Excuse me, but I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
- That's it. - What tact! I love that.
What do you think of our friend's tact? - Very commendable.
He's tired. What about you?
Me? Absolutely not.
I'm looking forward to a great time.
Good night.
- Know what that means? - You know I took English.
It means good night.
You ought to study German instead of law.
Well, good night. - Good night.
Dear Mother...
the trip went very well.
I had a compartment to myself,
so I stretched out on the banquette.
Don't worry.
I took my shoes off first.
But I put them back on to go to the restaurant car.
The food wasn't bad,
but I missed Marie's cooking.
Nevertheless, I did have a very nice veal cutlet.
I believe that's for you.
Well?
There's no doubt about it now.
I don't know what to do. - Calm down.
How can I calm down?
I saw the doctor this morning. Ηe confirmed it.
- Do your parents know? - I told them.
Very clever!
I didn't mean to tell them it was you...
but Daddy insisted on knowing.
I thought you were a liberated woman.
- Stop making fun of her. - I'm not.
So what did Daddy say?
He and Mommy left for the coast. Ηe said, "You're on your own."
Magnificent!
Don't worry. I'll take care of it.
It'll be over in no time.
- No, I don't want to. - What else can you do?
It's for the best, you know.
Paris is a marvelous town,
and Paul seems right at home, like a fish in water.
All my love - Charles.
On your feet!
- What's that? - One of the jewels of the arsenal.
What is it?
A deadly weapon when it's loaded.
- It doesn't look it. - Don't be fooled by appearances.
Up and at 'em, you slug!
Get dressed. Shake a leg!
I'm going to show you around town.
Oh, Mother...
in the Latin Quarter, Paul took me to a sort of club
called L'Association.
Lay off! I've got to go to work.
- Running off just as I arrive. - To the Elysée Palace.
It's true.
Hello there.
Well?
Everything's all set for Geneviève.
Clovis, you're a real brother.
Yes, you are. I'll have to pay you.
Let's go downstairs. I'm showing my dear cousin around this dive.
Isn't Gilbert here, my sweet?
Okay in there?
Look on and marvel.
Come - into the bowels of hell!
Jacqueline, I'm blotto.
But I'll forget about that after the next glass.
- This is stupid. - Yes, it's stupid. Now pour.
My word, Philippe. You're drunk.
Make him stop.
I meant it as praise, my dear.
That looks very much like Françoise.
Room spinning, old pal?
Is it over between you and Françoise?
What's it look like?
Don't take it too hard.
I have a dozen proverbs to help you through it.
I know your proverbs.
In your drunken state you'll soon forget them. Listen -
Hello, kids.
Hi, sweetie.
We didn't know each other. Now we do.
You can help a friend of mine who's suffering.
You gotta be kidding.
Beat it, you.
I'd better warn you. I'm a bit conceited,
and you're going to love me, Ernestine.
I doubt it. And the name's Martine!
That's delightful!
I can almost hear bells. Sonnez les martines!
Now...
I believe I mentioned a friend of mine who's suffering.
A creature as ravishing as you has left him for another.
But your smile will cure him.
Come.
Oh, Yvonne!
Philippe, my friend, this is Martine.
Don't get worked up over a boy. Especially not him.
There's more to life than boys.
Music, literature...
dance...
and the fact I need a light.
- May I? - Thanks.
My name's Charles. I'm Paul's cousin.
My name's Vonvon.
I'll finish off the banners.
I see he keeps busy.
A real young girl, for once. Don't break this one.
I hope I'm not bothering you.
- You his cousin? - Whose?
- Paul's, of course. - Yes.
Perfect! I hear you're a champ at bridge.
I've had enough. You can take my place.
That's it, daddy-o. I'll take the rest.
Damn it! Here.
You're done for.
Shouldn't have used the hearts finesse.
What?
He clearly had the king.
I'm the king, my children!
Help me. Do something!
Mademoiselle says she works and wants to go to class.
- She's crazy. - I really must go.
- You're right. Come on. - You hear this little bastard?
Does he think you belong to him, Martine?
Are you forgetting you love me?
I'll come back later.
You swear?
Good luck, my friend.
Ah, women.
I thought she was for Philippe.
Philippe's like a part of me.
Between us, I believe Philippe is sulking.
- So? - So nothing.
But it's understandable. I enjoy consoling Philippe.
Don't let us interrupt.
- Take my place. - Thanks.
Fine, I'll go play pinball.
- How are things, sweetheart? - Fine.
- You don't look like Paul. - We're cousins, not twins.
You each look right for what you do.
- Meaning? - You know Paul.
Do you play canapé?
If you like.
Blackwood convention or Norman four no-trump?
Norman four no-trump, no? You use asking bids?
Not very well.
Really? It's just a question of practice.
Go on, cut.
Let's see here.
Pass.
One spade.
- Pass. - Two hearts.
- Three clubs. - Three spades.
Okay.
Your lead.
Sorry.
Hello, Florence.
Paul...
Aren't you playing anymore?
You're up to something.
Who's that?
Who? Florence?
That's Florence.
I don't like her name, but she's got something.
I'll introduce you. - Paul, please!
This is a new role for me.
There's a Cupid awakening in me, dear cousin.
See you later. Did you call?
Yes, to introduce you to my cousin.
Hello.
So you're the famous cousin. - No. Cousin, perhaps,
but I'm the famous one.
Thanks. Now I've got to go.
I just dropped in to ask Vonvon something.
Will we see you again soon?
Of course.
My heart bleeds for you.
For me? Why?
I'm off.
Ηello. What can I do for you?
Nothing. Just looking.
First editions? New editions?
I'm not a collector.
- Detective novels? - No, I don't really like them.
Delighted to hear it. What would you like, then?
I could be tempted by a Balzac.
- From the provinces, eh? - Is it obvious?
Not really, but reading Balzac at your age smacks of the provinces.
- What do other students read? - Those next door? Detective novels.
I tried to give one Le père Goriot. Ηe nearly punched me.
Detective novels and porn.
They claim they need to relax.
- It seems to bother you. - For good reason.
One lifetime isn't enough for all there is to read,
and to see them fritter away their time -
You're right.
I spent the last ten years reading and loved every minute.
I tell them, "Read Dostoyevsky. He addresses all your concerns."
They say they have no concerns.
- You seem bitter. - And with good cause.
When only provincials buy Balzac!
And not even buy - I'm giving you Balzac for free.
Choose one. I like you.
That's very nice, but I can pay.
Why? I'll make it up on those other suckers.
Besides, my profit on Balzac is so thin,
and my wish to please you so great, that I still come out ahead. Go on.
Have you read Lost Illusions?
Then steal it! Go on, I'm not looking.
Quick now!
You're a very unusual bookseller. You'll end up broke.
No danger of that.
You really do love books.
Your eyes are full of the wonders you've read.
But the world you're living in now is a very strange one.
Perhaps, but it is the world.
Yes, but it can be hard to take.
- What are you doing here? - Just talking about books.
What? They're furious. They can't play anymore.
Forgive me. - Not at all. Your brother?
- My cousin. - Same difference. Come again.
Good-bye, and thank you.
Good-bye.
Dear Mother, it's very convenient.
No point taking notes in lectures.
Every week I buy a photocopied set of all the notes
and study the material at home.
I find it a much better way to work.
But I'm taking tomorrow off.
Paul has invited some friends over
for what he calls "a little get-together."
You coming?
Wait a second.
- That way. - Booze!
- Is this Charles? - Yes.
Shit! We're the first ones here!
Damn, I said shit! Shit, I said damn!
- Hello, darling. - For you.
You're the one I love.
My cousin Charles. A pal of mine.
- You almost closed it in my face! - Ah, my sweetheart!
Hello, boys! I'm thirsty! Where's the bar?
For you.
Let's get a whisky.
Well, daddy-o?
Drink, for God's sake!
Hello, everyone.
What a surprise!
Shit! Philippe's come to cry on our shoulders.
- How are things? - No better.
She left André. She'll be dumping Auguste next.
He's a real drag.
- Hello. Everything all right? - Yes.
I'll leave you two alone.
Come sit down.
They disgust me.
- Not me. - You'll change your mind.
- Why are you so bitter? - I don't know.
Look at all these girls.
The trouble is, I love Françoise.
Of course, but Paul says -
She's a slut, I know.
- You want some music? - Yes!
Shall we dance?
- No Wagner! - The morons I have to put up with!
Out of the way.
Mozart!
Wunderbar.
There's Françoise. I don't want to see her.
Who's the guy with her?
I know him by sight. Rameau's his name.
- Ηello, Philippe. - Hello, Françoise.
Rameau.
Are you Paul's cousin? - That's right.
Rameau, old boy! Get yourself a drink.
Ηello, you. - Don't I get a kiss?
- With Rameau's permission. - Good Lord!
Rameau couldn't care less.
- Nice guy, your cousin! - His heart's in the right place.
A country boy. Salt of the earth.
Rameau, the drinks are over there.
Go on, kids.
- What's gotten into you? - I just don't like him.
- That's no reason. - Sure it is.
I'm not very civilized. - Hello, Paul.
Hello, Charles.
- I've been waiting for you. - Paul told me.
I've been waiting for you for -
Well, for a long time.
May I?
Be my guest.
Grab some glasses.
I like sitting on the stairs. What about you?
I love it.
You know, when I said I'd been waiting for you...
I meant it.
What joy, my little ones! What joy!
Allow me to introduce Count Arcangelo Minerva of Florence.
He wanted to come to our little party.
I'm terribly sorry for the intrusion.
You're very welcome here.
- What are you doing there? - Leave me alone.
I told you to keep out of my way.
It's not good at your age to be here. Go on, clear out.
Go learn to read.
Go on.
What's gotten into you?
For this we'll forgive your crashing the party.
Oh, it's just a little bottle.
It's clear you're a man of gallantry.
And quick to prove it, my dear child.
The count can be a bit naughty,
but he's as generous as they come.
- At his age he can afford it. - At my age I can afford
all sorts of things, my sweet.
I'm off!
An Italian friend of mine, Count Arcangelo Minerva.
Very pleased to meet you.
Welcome to our party.
Not bad, eh?
Delightful.
Ah, Paris, my boy!
Who is that guy?
Oh, you know... times are hard.
Spit it out.
What? He's an Italian friend.
He's here for business... and entertainment.
Business keeps him busy until dinnertime...
and then the entertainment is my job.
Mademoiselle, age bows before beauty.
And what's your cut?
I can't live off the sandwiches you feed me...
my dear Augustine!
Here's Geneviève.
Ηello, Paul. I hope I'm not intruding.
You know I'm very fond of you.
I'm feeling great. It was a false alarm.
Hallelujah.
You were both so sweet.
Real pals! You can be proud of yourselves.
Care for a drink?
Ηas anyone ever asked when Correggio painted you?
- Who's Correggio? - A friend of mine.
She's a pretty little thing.
Have you got a light?
Of course, signorina.
Excuse me.
That's enough Mozart.
Now...
Wagner.
Silence!
Oh, Mother...
where are you?
I am a poor soldier...
alone...
all alone...
with no friends...
with no comrades.
Where are they?
They're all dead.
All dead.
I'm sad.
I weep.
I cry out, "Help me!"
Mother...
But no one hears.
I'm all alone.
One day, the war is over...
and spring returns.
The birds sing...
the sun shines...
music is heard once more...
and we find love...
...love.
Bastard!
What's going on?
Philippe, don't play the shining knight here. It's dangerous.
- Kick him out! - He's a guest.
Not again! What's gotten into you?
Let's leave.
Think we should?
- Slut! - Stop it!
Philippe, you're causing a scene, and I abhor that.
I'm free, and I do as I wish.
- You disgust me! - And you're a pain in the ass.
So are you! So are all of you! You hear?
Why are you all gaping at me like that?
I hate you! I hope you all die like dogs!
Go to hell, all of you!
I find that quite mad!
Lots of problems and not much character.
He's not equipped to handle it.
What's so funny?
Nothing.
I was thinking about what you said about Philippe.
And?
Because I don't know if I'm the type either -
What?
I don't know if I'm equal to my ambitions.
You see? I'm talking like I'm giving a lecture.
Not at all.
What do you think of me?
Think I'm a good student?
I've never had a class with you.
Good thing, too, or I'd never have had a chance.
No, Florence. I know what I am.
A mama's boy, pampered and cosseted.
It leaves its mark. - So what?
How can you say that?
As long as you're not marked by drink, like Clovis.
But Clovis faces life with a strength I haven't got.
Not that I feel weak, but -
Oh, Florence! Am I just a silly fool?
Look at me.
Is my face, my expression, that of a fool?
When I speak, do I say silly things, in a silly way?
I do, don't I?
Admit it.
You have the most beautiful voice in the world.
I love it.
You're not putting me on?
But Paul's voice is much more beautiful.
I said the most beautiful voice in the world.
Speak, Florence, so I may say the same to you.
No, you speak. Say anything at all.
I don't know what to say. And it's always like this.
Say whatever comes to mind.
Recite your photocopied lectures to me.
You know what I'm dying to tell you?
But I'd sooner cut out my tongue than say it.
No, I dare not even tell you.
Come on, Charles.
No, because by doing so, I would certainly
exceed even my own stupidity.
I want to know.
My dear Charles, that's what every woman wants.
Go on, recite it for me.
Never.
Are you really that silly?
On this point, a real idiot.
I can already hear Paul saying,
"So we're poets now, writing verse in secret?"
Paul's not here. Recite your poem for me.
I'll think it for you, but I won't say a word.
Was it beautiful?
Very beautiful, Charles.
That was my complete works.
A little provincial in inspiration, but there you go.
In love or not, I'm from Saint-Jean-du-Gard.
Have you been in love often?
Yes, two or three times. What about you?
Lots of times.
Have you been in love with Rameau?
What an idea! Why Rameau?
He's just a pal.
I don't believe in pals.
I love you, Florence.
That Rameau gives me the creeps.
You love me?
It's so sudden.
I know...
but that's how I am.
The worst thing is,
it happens quickly and stays with me a long time.
My mother knows me well. It made her very wary.
She didn't want me to come to Paris.
It took all Paul's cunning to persuade her.
She used to say,
"The first girl you meet will sink her clutches into you, my poor boy."
She's jealous and mistrusts all women.
She said I had no defenses.
She used to spy on me.
She'd be jealous of you too.
She was jealous in advance before I even left.
Shall we go for a drive?
Wait here. I'll get the keys.
- You know how to drive? - Mother taught me.
It's the cousin.
Well, come in!
Paul, it's your cousin.
You boor!
Just a second.
Can I have your car keys?
You're all silly young things.
I want a woman!
And I'll have one!
This guy's gone round the bend.
And I'll get what I want!
You, woman, come here!
Come on!
Come here!
Go to hell, you old troll!
You lied to me.
You promised me girls.
I want girls.
Get me one, by God!
You know how it is, Arcangelo. If a girl doesn't want to...
He's out of his mind!
You want women, I want money.
Broken glass is lucky!
You and your money! You're all jerks!
I'll get you all one day!
Paul, give me the car keys.
What?
The car keys.
That's a very good idea.
Listen to me, you cretins!
We're going for a little drive.
We'll have a blast! On your feet!
Stop it, you barbarian.
Arcangelo!
Arcangelo, you're finished!
Listen to me, you cretins!
We're going for a drive.
To the woods! - Wait!
The Italian’s got a Nash. We'll pinch his keys.
I love picking pockets.
I'm not surprised.
Move it!
I have to freshen up a bit.
- It's dark out. - Shut up, granny!
Flo, you'll ride with me.
Come on, Charles, in the nice big Nash.
Stop sulking.
Left behind, my sweet?
Come on. It'll cheer you up.
I'll drive like the devil's own chauffeur.
I'll get her up to 70, 80,
even 120, if I'm feeling good.
Look, I'm sticking my head out!
Where are we going?
The highway, meathead...
via the woods.
- Where's first? - Up yours.
Your language!
- Can you drive? - My ass!
What moron left all the lights on?
He's out cold.
We have no choice.
Watch this.
What are you going to do?
Scare him to death.
Wake up!
Gestapo!
What's the matter? Having nightmares?
I was sleeping.
Admit it - I had you scared.
Where'd you go?
All over the place, with the girls.
They caused a scene in a nightclub.
Really? Did you go to La Goulée?
That's right.
Jeez, I downed quite a few.
I'm off. Is the metro running?
You missed the first, but you might get the second.
Fine. Good-bye.
Good-bye, Marc.
See you, Marc.
See you later.
You scared me.
What's wrong with him? He's acting strange.
I don't understand.
What don't you understand?
It seems you really scared him.
Marc's Jewish, so it shook him up.
Very clever.
Poor guy must have been terrified.
Think so?
No, it just sobered him up.
It'll take more than that to wake that guy up.
Just look at him.
The idiot could have hurt someone. Good thing we have no bullets.
Oh yeah?
Come look.
What do you call that?
I will-a kill-a you all! Lady, take-a off-a your dress,
or you will-a make-a Arcangelo very, very angry!
Paul...
you wouldn't have Florence's phone number, would you?
What?
I forgot to ask for her phone number.
You don't have it? - I don't even know if she has one.
Why should she? She's never home.
Sorry, but it's time to turn in.
Try and get a few hours' sleep. Come on, pal.
WeII, good morning.
- My dear friend. - My condolences.
That's the best thing for it.
Always at your service.
Sir, I am most terribly embarrassed.
No, don't tell me I mustn't be.
I behaved quite deplorably.
I was drunk as a lord, and I beg your forgiveness.
Oh, please. You were a bit tipsy perhaps,
but you were the life of the party.
This is all my doing, I know too well.
How can I ever apologize? - No need.
All these beautiful things, broken.
Before I go, may I trouble you for my friend Delbecque's address?
Delbecque? Clovis?
Yes, I'd like to thank him for the pleasant time I had.
You know... Clovis moves around a lot.
I don't have his latest address.
It doesn't matter. I'll find him.
We frequent a certain bar...
I beg your pardon once more.
I mean it. Good-bye. - Anytime.
Excuse me.
Goodness me! You made a racket last night!
The fifth floor wasn't happy. - I don't blame them.
Please forgive us. Your lovely city is to blame.
Good-bye, madam.
A proper gentleman. A foreigner?
Yes, Italian.
But not as proper as you think.
Good Lord, look at this!
Were you fighting?
This is Babylon, madam.
Good Lord!
And your Italian gentleman had a hand in it.
Look at all this work. Where do I start?
People have been complaining.
They were all cordially invited.
Good Lord! And the telephone's off the hook.
The telephone was off the hook?
How are you? Sleep well?
- The phone was off the hook? - That's the least of it!
Don't look so glum.
Someone might have been trying to call.
Then they'll call back.
Were you involved in this orgy, Mr. Charles?
Yes, he dipped his toe in.
Feeling all right?
Some Alka-Seltzer... or brandy?
I'm just fine.
Be a good chap and put on some water for coffee.
- I'm not a good chap. - That's it - stand up for yourself!
That's enough from you!
Aren't you ashamed, setting cousins against each other?
Well, I'm hungry.
Don't just stand by the phone. Put on some water.
Listen, Paul: Get off my back.
Oh, the young gentleman's in a nasty mood!
Yes, the young gentleman's not in a very good mood.
Florence?
Yes, it's me - Charles.
I was really worried. I didn't know -
Anyway, thanks for calling.
It proves you have a phone.
Listen, could we get together some time?
Whenever you like.
I have a class this afternoon.
No, I have to go.
Yes, but I have to show my face now and then, or -
Great. Let's do that.
We'll walk back from the university together.
Fine. What time is your class?
What time?
Three o'clock.
I'll be done about 5:00. Is that okay?
All right. Good-bye.
Thanks for calling.
The amazing thing about you is you never need any sleep.
Who were you calling? - Charles.
The kid...?
I'm meeting him at 3:00.
Incredible.
It's wonderful. I'm meeting Florence at 5:00.
He's not here, Flo.
He went to class. - What?
At the university.
But we arranged to meet at 3:00.
You misunderstood. Ηe said 5:00.
But come in and have a drink.
The thing is, I haven't got much time.
You've got two hours.
Listen, what's all this business with Charles?
What game are you playing?
I'm just playing.
At least you're honest.
And what are you getting out of it?
A sort of dreaminess.
With Charles? Impossible.
I adore Charles. No, I really do.
He's my cousin. But still - - Still what?
I can't explain. You know him.
Yes. And?
Don't you get it?
I thought you were smarter than that.
I can imagine you two discussing art history.
But once in the sack -
You're the one who doesn't understand.
With him I don't have to think about that.
- About what? - The sack.
You see? Then what's in it for you?
There's more to life than sex.
My foot!
Paul...
I'm trying to love him.
Very well.
Let's try to be serious for a moment.
How old are you?
Twenty.
All right.
Let's think this through.
You want to love him.
Let's say you manage that.
Charles worships you.
What will happen?
You'll move in together...
at your place - so I'm not in your hair.
Fine.
Ηe'll work like mad, because that's what he's like.
You'll do the housework for two weeks.
Or, if you find someone to do it for you,
you'll spend two weeks in bed, reading.
And he'll choose your books for you!
Saturday night you'll go to the movies.
Sunday afternoon, I'll come by and invite you out for a drink.
But he'll decline.
He'll have work to do, and you'll want to stay with him.
I know you!
You won't be able to resist playing the martyr,
and I won't be able to stop laughing.
It's true - every word.
And I forgot his dear little mother!
What will Mother say?
He won't dare write her.
He's incapable of lying.
As kids, I used to pinch his marbles, and he'd lecture me.
He's a good boy.
A great guy.
But really, Florence...
let's think clearly here.
Physically, he's okay. Better than okay.
Tougher than he looks. And he's far from stupid.
I'll even tip my hat to his intellectual capacities.
But really...
you're not made for each other.
That's what you refuse to see.
I'm telling you this for your own good.
You'll both be miserable as sin!
Leave me alone.
And you'll cheat on him.
Shit.
Well, look who's here.
- My stomach's empty. - Ηave a drink.
Thanks. You're a real brother.
What are you doing here?
She came by for Charles, but he's at school.
What does she want with him?
- She's trying to love him. - Unbelievable!
Is that true? - I was just explaining.
Come on! Can you really see the two of you together?
Three days of playing housewife and you'd be bored stiff.
Not you too.
- I told her all that. - Then I hope you understand.
It's you two who don't.
- Here we go again. - You're being an idiot!
This drives me nuts! You poor little fool!
You've slept with everyone. Now you fall for a virgin
and start thinking you're one too!
Even from a moral point of view, it offends me.
Be true to yourself. You're taking this boy for a ride,
passing yourself off as something you're not.
So sleep with him or leave him alone!
- You're bastards. - Us?
You hear that, Paul?
We love you. You're our Florence.
Our own little Florence.
We want to help you. Don't we?
Absolutely.
It's true, Florence. Really.
If you want to sleep with Charles, go ahead.
But don't lead him on.
You needn't promise to marry him.
I want it to be serious.
Exactly. That's the frightening thing.
Really... look at yourself.
Do you look like the type that can make him happy?
Just stroke your skin. I know a thing or two about skin.
- Leave me alone. - I'm an expert.
I've never been wrong.
You have the skin of a temptress.
See, you trembled!
You're all skin, my pussycat.
You're made for caresses,
not for things of the mind.
Listen to him, Flo.
He's talking sense for once.
Oh, she's listening.
She can't stop listening.
Isn't that right?
- I've got two hours. - I don't need that long.
I have just one little thing
to prove.
Admit that when your skin touches Charles's,
the feeling is quite repellent.
Honestly, how does his skin make you feel?
- Leave me alone. - You see?
You're starting to realize you picked the wrong boy.
Here...
stroke my skin.
Then stroke Paul's skin.
Go on, do it.
Where's the harm in it?
Paul, let her touch your skin.
- No, Clovis. - Yes.
Come on, Florence.
Go on...
touch his skin.
Well, my girl? What do you think?
That's the real thing.
That's skin that responds to the touch.
Paul's skin is something else entirely.
The man who'll save you from Charles... is Paul.
Love one another, my lambs.
What are you waiting for?
Florence. Have you seen her?
- Any word on Philippe? - He's okay, more or less.
- Something happen to Philippe? - Didn't you hear?
He jumped out a window.
- No! - Broke both legs.
I'm off, boys.
- All because of Françoise. - The slut.
That's some news.
He was too good for her. She led him around by the nose.
- 5:20! - It's not late.
- Let's go play pinball. - No, I'll wait a bit longer.
- Join us later? - I hope not.
Here he comes.
Don't worry.
Florence, what are you doing here?
I waited two hours.
Hi.
What happened?
We got our signals crossed. I thought we said 3:00.
- It doesn't matter. - It does. I hate standing people up.
I forgive you.
Charles, listen to me.
Sit down.
What's going on?
You're not going to like this.
Why?
This is awkward.
You tell him, Flo.
I think he's starting to understand.
Not at all.
While we were waiting for you -
This is hard to say.
Florence and I have decided
to live together for a while.
Live how?
You know... together.
Is this true, Florence?
Don't be mad at me.
I'm your friend.
Of course I'm not mad. I'll wait my turn.
And you'll get it!
I was so afraid you'd think we'd played you for a fool.
You could have taken it very badly.
No.
We're fond of you, you know.
By the way, Florence...
did you hear what happened to Philippe?
I'm returning these.
- Why? They're yours. - No.
I really can't.
Sure. You stole them. They're yours.
So how are things?
Not too good.
What's the matter?
I'm miserable. A girl dumped me.
- That's nothing. - Easy for you to say.
Actually, she didn't really dump me because...
I hardly knew her.
Well, then?
It hurts.
Young people! If only all our problems were so trivial.
Study, my boy. You'll soon forget her.
Drown yourself in your studies. - It's not that easy.
Come now. Think I never went through that?
I had my share of adventures.
Today I could afford ten girls like the one who dumped you.
Do like me. Work hard. She'll come crawling back.
Your cousin and his pals will flunk,
and you'll just laugh, with your degree in your pocket.
Take the bull by the horns.
And if that doesn't work, come see me.
- You're very kind. - Kind!
There's not a minute to lose. Get to work! No free books today.
Thanks.
Ah, heartbreak...
There's not a moment to lose. Go hit the books.
THE INSULT
THE LADY LIES
THE AGONY OF LOVE
MY MOTHER'S CASTLE
Time to eat!
Already? - Of course.
It's ready.
- Time to eat! - Coming.
I'm hungry, hungry, hungry!
I burned myself.
- What is it? - Tomatoes à la provençale.
- Nothing but the best, eh? - Looks great.
A round of applause for Flo! What a cook!
Life is good!
Charles, why do you slave away
when tomatoes ripen in the sun all by themselves?
I'm following a friend's advice.
What friend?
Your neighbor, the bookseller.
Just between you and me, he doesn't think you'll pass.
I'm flattered. Don't worry about me.
Anyway, even if I flunk, I won't lose any sleep over it.
That's your choice.
I think of all you've done for me, dear Mother.
You'll see - I'll make it up to you a hundredfold.
The next time I kiss your cheek,
I'll be a brilliant graduate.
I don't believe it.
You're killing yourself, Charles.
Studying is all well and good, but still...
- The boy'll be a great success. - Come have a drink.
No, thanks.
Florence wants to dance,
and my feet are hurting.
- Come dance, Charles. - No, really.
Not very gentlemanly, eh, Flo?
Not very.
Besides, I can't dance.
Florence would love to teach you, eh?
Yes.
It's now or never.
Come on.
No, really. I have too much work.
Think I don't?
Each to his own.
Come on, leave him alone.
I didn't say anything. But he's not much fun.
Don't forget to go to bed.
It's so hot.
Good morning.
We never see you.
I've been studying.
Studying!
Stop fooling around. You're blocking the sun.
Tan in peace, my beauty.
Have you had breakfast?
I'll make you some coffee. - No, thanks.
Tea?
Hot chocolate?
And for you? - The same as my beloved Charles.
You're both a pain in the neck. I'm making coffee.
Can I have a cigarette?
What's the matter? You're so pale.
Why do you work so hard? You want to kill yourself?
Can I have a light?
Sorry.
- Well, back to work. - You're not having breakfast?
Yes, but tell Paul to bring it to my room.
Stay a while.
Tell him, okay?
It's ready.
Don't mind me. I'm just taking a shower.
Hello, daddy-o.
Don't mind me. I'm just taking a shower.
This'll get wet.
It's scalding!
- You big baby!
- I was in the war! - Liar!
A little colder.
A little - not too much!
- Stupid woman! - I did what you said!
Colder! I'm being boiled alive!
- What a whiner! - I'm red as a lobster!
- Stupid twit! - Everyone's stupid but you!
- If you don't like it - - What?
- You can get lost. - I just might do that!
Don't be stupid!
- Let go of me! - Keep it down!
Charles is studying! - Macho pig!
No scenes, please.
- Paul... - What?
what does "sycophant" mean?
- What? - Sycophant.
What the hell are you talking about?
Bastard!
- You all right? - Fine.
Eat up.
Here's the hot water. Careful.
Where's Florence?
She didn't even fix breakfast for us.
Why?
My friend, I have some very sad news for you.
The three of us were so happy.
We didn't need anyone else.
All that's over now.
Anyway, she's still a good friend.
I'm very fond of her.
I'm sure you are too.
I'll miss her tomatoes à la provençale the most.
They were really good.
I didn't like them.
- You loved them. - No, really.
- Come off it. - No, I just ate them...
to make her happy.
Well, it's still sad.
What will you do now?
God only knows.
Study. That's the best thing.
Then you can afford ten girls like her.
Especially, my friend,
since your exam's in four days.
You haven't studied at all.
You really think you're ready?
Come on, Paul. Get to work.
No, my friend.
It's not my first exam, nor, I fear, will it be my last.
These things are all relative.
I don't let them get to me.
I'd even wager that my knack for the material
will make up for my lack of preparation.
I may not be a bridge champion,
but this is one rubber I'm going to take.
Just be careful.
Four days.
Three days.
My exam's the day before yours.
I'll show you the way.
Well?
Unbelievable!
Let's go!
Tinker Bell! Corky! Come with me.
Now let's have some fun, damn it.
- What's going on? - Look at me.
What do you see? Notice anything different?
Well, I passed.
Give me a hug, Carolus!
You wouldn't believe how I pulled the wool over their eyes.
Hello, Charles.
Isn't it wonderful about Paul?
Eat! Drink! Tear the place down!
I flunked out,
but knowing Paul passed makes up for it.
When's your exam?
Tomorrow.
Come on, boys, drink!
Look at them!
Twenty years old, and not a drop of blood in their veins!
Drink to my triumph! Miracles should be celebrated.
I'm proud of you.
Imagine how I feel.
Where are you going?
Sorry, I've got to study.
Would you look at him?
Aren't you overdoing it?
Aren't I living proof that studying is a waste of time?
Relax a bit, daddy-o.
No, I can relax after tomorrow.
I'm not a natural like you.
I'm more the plodding sort.
Very well.
Gentlemen!
Silence!
I must admit I'm very moved.
Oh, yes. Very moved.
Friends...
some things happen but once in life
and must be celebrated appropriately.
Your success today, Paul, is one such event.
That's why, with my customary munificence,
I've decided to surprise you.
Oh, no! Not the Italian again!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Great Matton!
Ηis shorts are made of Uncle Henri's hides!
Put this on or you'll catch cold.
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening
I shall first of all break these chains
To prove to you that nothing
Can restrain me!
This is how the sultan of Turkey
Would enchain his prisoners
Before throwing them
Into the Bosporus
- He'll never do it. - Shut up!
A little Wagner.
Ah, it's you.
You studying?
Not very polite of you. - I've got lots to do.
- Charles? - What?
Nothing.
Just wanted to say hi.
What are you studying?
Law.
I know, silly, but what exactly?
Look...
Is it interesting?
It has to be done.
You don't seem too happy.
Me?
I'm just fine. Happy as a clam.
What?
Is that all you like to do?
I have no choice.
You could have a little fun.
What?
They all get on my nerves.
Then stay in here. Sit over there.
- I prefer next to you. - I have to study.
- Stop for a minute. - No! I'll never be ready!
My exam's tomorrow, and I have to review everything!
You're too much!
Get out. You're driving me nuts.
I'm not Paul. I have to study. I have no time for your drunken parties.
I promised my mother I'd pass. It sounds silly, but I care about her.
She'll be really hurt if I fail.
But you wouldn't understand.
All you think about is sex.
Sorry.
Now get out of my sight. You're keeping me from studying.
Go away.
...whoever else can do the same trick.
But nothing can restrain me!
Charles!
What?
What happened? Paul said you studied really hard.
- I'm just tired. Leave me alone. - It's okay.
Poor guy.
CHURCH CLOSED
- What's with the long face? - I have my reasons.
Women again?
In a way.
The same girl, eh?
Yes, but that's not all.
I flunked.
Now that's a surprise.
Did you study?
- Oh, I studied. - It's not the end of the world.
They can be hard sometimes. But you can take it again.
You'll do fine next time.
Don't get discouraged. Get back in the ring and fight.
And no women!
Florence...
I haven't seen you around for days.
Found a new lover?
Florence, my princess!
Deep down, you know,
I'm the only one you love.
He mustn't wake up.
I've got a one-in-six chance.
You've got a five-in-six chance.
Morning!
What a hangover! Good God!
You knew I'd hit the bottle so you stayed out all night?
Were you out celebrating your triumph?
No, Paul. I flunked.
I don't believe it.
The bastards! What happened?
I don't know. I got all confused.
And there were traps.
I was in a very odd mood last night.
Don't worry. You'll bounce back.
You're just learning how to live.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Really?
Charles, I envy you all the happy times ahead.
Shut up. I've messed up everything.
Not at all, you numbskull!
A little time - that's all.
A girl and an exam aren't the end of the world.
I wish that's all it was.
Oh, I see.
Your mother.
No, not my mother.
Didn't we have some good times?
With the Great Matton! - I was studying.
The things Clovis comes up with!
And that Italian.
Signor Arcangelo what's-his-name. Remember him?